WHEN THE CANNON BOOMED….

By Biodun Ayegbusi

MaTaZ ArIsInG
Dallas, Texas

WHEN THE CANNON BOOMED….

The whole world heard it. Loudly. Clearly. Repeatedly. From North London to Lagos, from Nairobi to Los Angeles, from Buenos Aires to Bahrain, from Cairo to Caracas , one thunderous message echoed through every street corner, beer parlour, viewing centre, WhatsApp group and traffic hold-up on earth:

“Celebration yen lo far and wide!”

And why not?

After twenty-two long years of waiting, suffering, bantering, defending ourselves online like unpaid lawyers, calculating permutations like WAEC further mathematics students and hearing “next season”, like a Netflix series, till our ears nearly started bleeding, Arsenal F.C. are finally champions of England again.

Do you know why God normally avoids interfering in football matters? Because once He starts, fans will never let Him rest. But yesterday, the Almighty Himself appeared to make an exception. Something unusual happened. Something celestial. He temporarily granted the Arsenal fans in heaven visa-free access to celebrate with the Arsenal fans still sweating here on earth. The resulting noise shook both heaven and earth like a transformer explosion in rainy season. It was like a benign volcanic eruption worldwide, unconditional love for the Arsenal FC.

And somewhere between the clouds and the chaos, He whispered to delirious Gooners:

“I’m not finished with you people yet. The Arsenal file is still on my table.”

Yes o.

At Selhurst Park yesterday, the signs were everywhere. You could feel it in the air. The stars are aligning. The football gods are suddenly wearing red and white. Victory on the final day. No fresh injuries. Mikel Merino moving freely again. Jurrien Timber staring hungrily from the stands like a man ready to fight a lion with bare hands if necessary. And then Martín Zubimendi casually appearing at right-back like Arteta was testing experimental science before a final exam.

Nobody fully understands what Mikel Arteta and his coaching crew are cooking. But one thing is certain , we are seated at the table with spoons in hand, waiting eagerly for the next serving.

To those complaining that Arsenal fans are “overdoing” the celebration , abeg, respectfully, go and hug transformer. When your own club wins after twenty-two years of emotional damage, celebrate it however you like. If you want to somersault into a lagoon, it is your prerogative. Like Frank Sinatra, we will do this our way.

Because if THIS is how loud winning the Premier League is… imagine adding the “Big Ears” this weekend against Paris Saint-Germain F.C. in the 2026 UEFA Champions League final.

“O ma loud gan.”

The world may genuinely need a five-day public holiday.

The Russo-Ukrainian War will pause. Middle East tensions will suddenly develop manners. Ebola will retreat temporarily out of respect. The Strait of Hormuz will open itself peacefully like automatic supermarket doors. CNN, BBC, SABC and Al Jazeera will all lead with one headline:

“Arsenal fans have become uncontrollable.”

And honestly? They will not be wrong.

Because it would not just be two trophies. Ah no. Arsenal fans will add audited balance sheets, projected revenue growth and PSR compliance documents to the parade just to annoy rivals properly.

Then turn to the haters and simply say:

“Ntorr… you can hate professionally now.”

They say Arteta is too uptight and intense. Too serious. Too obsessed. That man probably wanted training this morning by 8:am sharp with drone footage and tactical meetings already prepared. His project, our project just started bearing fruit. More joy is coming.

Boss, please. Allow these boys breathe small. Give them today off.

But truth be told, this squad understands the assignment. Winning the league feels like finally removing a massive gorilla from Arsenal’s back. Twenty-two years of pressure, anxiety, memes, near-misses and psychological bondage — gone. Finished. Expired. Thrashed.

The shackles are off now.

What comes next may be the most dangerous version of Arsenal yet: a team playing with both steel and freedom…..silk and steel, the way we want it. The way it should be.

That is the scary part for everybody else. They hide their fear with jealousy, envy, malice and outright hatred.

This is no longer a group desperately trying to prove they belong. They now KNOW they belong.

And when jealous rivals look at you with envy, bitterness and hidden pain this week, just give them that bombastic side-eye and calmly whisper:

“More joy is coming.”

To our “Unforgettable Indomitables” , immortality, legendaryhood is just ninety minutes away. It’s your destiny, take it.

Do more. Be more.

History is standing at the door wearing red and white.

The force is with you. And we are with you too. Every tackle. Every pass. Every heartbeat. Whatever the weather.

Enjoy your week, beautiful people.

And prepare your voices. Budapest is calling. The cannon will boom…….again and again.

© Nero.

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